Wednesday, March 27, 2013

guilty pleasures

so this last week on Glee (yes. i watch it. yes. i'm proud of it.) the assignment that the kids gave themselves were guilty pleasures.

NOW. this made me laugh, because every. single. thing. that they said was their guilty pleasure, i own up to loud and proud. CALL ME a fannilow. because i am. and proud of it! Bobby Brown? i know what he "allegedly" did to Whitney (and obviously by allegedly, we all know what really happened....) but damn. that is a good song. my prerogative? DAMN!

but this got me thinking about my guilty pleasures, and i though that i would share my "short list" of them. and by short list, i mean, obviously an eternally long list.  and it took some serious thought to come up with this list. because, at first glance? i'm not really that ashamed of the things i love in my life. but....with closer evaluation, i came up with a rather hefty list.

you asked. didn't you? i feel like you did. if not. just stop reading. or don't. whatever. i'm not the boss of you. just consider this your warning. this list is sort of pathetic and ridiculous, and gives you a fairly intimate look at my instability. oh well

i loooooove watching movies that are out in the world SPECIFICALLY to make you cry. i love them way more than any sane person should. like...you guys. i get upset when a movie that is supposed to make you cry....doesn't....it's disappointing and SUCH a waste. examples you ask? SURE OKAY! Armageddon. Pearl Harbor (i'm sort of upset with myself that my immediate go to movies, both star Ben Affleck, who i didn't really think i was a fan of....but apparently i am....sigh....). Beaches. (gasp! beaches!!! this movie probably started this whole obsession for me. but whatever.) The Impossible. this is a new addition to the list. but it TOTALLY APPLIES. i haven't had my fill of this movie in a couple days, and i'm starting to get the shakes. i need it back. if you haven't watched this, GO RIGHT NOW! stop reading this nonsense, and go watch this movie. it is fantastic and will totally make you cry. this is just a small taste of these movies. if you want more examples to try, just ask. i have a huge movie vault of goodness. movies that disappoint me in their lack of tear flow? Les Miserables! i totally wanted to cry more than i actually did in the movie. The Notebook. i know i should, but i never do!!! my brother? please. he sobs his face off. me? dry as a dead leaf in the fall. i mean, i still love these movies, but there is always a little bit of disappointment on my end.

it is no secret that i love glee. i loooove glee. there is no shame in it. NONE I SAY. but it's the amount that i love it that i generally keep secret. for instance....i own all the seasons....and all the cd's....and i regularly listen to them, and watch them..... YouTube? my history is JAM PACKED with glee songs and clips. and guess what. it is pretty safe to say that i like the glee versions of the songs more than the originals...and i cry listening/watching them ALL THE TIME. it is what it is. get over it.
disco music. i am going to go ahead and blame my parents for this one. when i was growing up, if there was music playing (and there was ALWAYS music playing) my parents didn't cater to what was and was appropriate for children. we didn't listen to primary songs, or hymns. we listened to disco. and it was awesome. Saturday Night Fever? PLEASE! that is genius.

i guess we're going to do a music section of this ditty. whatever. deal. okay. SO. there was this guy. like, 20 years ago, that i saw in a music video, with beautiful hair, beautiful lips, and magical fingers. his name was and always will be Slash. you guys. i think he was my first....musician crush. i loooove slash. i love his attitude. i love his ego. i love his freaking top hat! i love his music. i love everything about him. eve-er-ri-thing! i love that his real name is Saul. FREAKING SAUL! that is wonderful. it really is. and i love that he is genuinely a good husband and father. most rockers get a really bad rap about all the crap that goes on with tours and drugs and all of that. but i feel in my heart and my bones, that he is such a good guy. and he doesn't give a rats BUM what anybody things about him. he is living his life and doing what he loves. i love that. and i love him. remember when he did that song with Michael Jackson and it CHANGED MY WORLD? it did. it really did.





he is a fine specimen.
and since we're talking about slash, we might as well talk about my love for all 80's and 90's hair bands and then also the grunge bands. i am not near cool enough to like these bands as much as i do. but. come on. COME ON! they are cool. and there is nothing to feel guilty about here. again. but. i think my guilt comes in with me not being cool enough to like them. but. i am all about velvet revolver(slash!!), smashing pumpkins, nirvana, and also, white snake, guns n' roses(slash!!!), bon jovi, etc.

remember the show gene simmons family values? uh. hi. hello. good work television. such a good show. so funny. i love seeing amazing musicians being ridiculous and sort of struggling with life. it brings me SO MUCH JOY. so much. plus. it's freaking gene simmons. and that is wonderful right there.

oh. you wanna hear about more musicians that have reality shows with their families? OKAY. the osbornes. you guys. i loved this show. i loved it in a big way. big. HUGE. and not because of the "ridiculousness" that comes with shows like this (see above). i loved this show because is showed how great of a dad ozzy is. there was one episode where it was right when kelly was getting her start into the music. and she was doing...a performance..or interview....something and she was really nervous and sort of freaking out. and ozzy came in. he had been on tour, and had just gotten off a plane and came straight there to support her. he saw her freaking out, and he pulled her into his lap and held her. he told her he was proud of her and that she was going to be great. THAT is why i loved this show. yes. ozzy was crazy. yes. this show was crazy. but the amount of love that this family has for each other is truly remarkable.

ridiculous shows? okay. the kardashians. they are so ridiculous. i hate them. i hate that they are famous for basically nothing. i hate that they have created this empire that the entire world is completely facinated with. and i hate that i love them. THEY are my complete guilty pleasure. i don't love them as much as my sister in law and her sister (who named her CHILD after one of them! come on!), but i love them enough to be ashamed of myself. sigh.

there is something about the disney channel. they really are the machine that spits out amazing crap. i can defend this statement with 3 simple words. High School Musical. zac efron. i knew there was something awesome under all those eyebrows and gapped teeth. he was fantastic in that. i bought these when they came out because i had cousins who would love to watch them and i had to have them on hand. right? and also the soundtracks, complete with the karaoke versions....because...you never know. YOU NEVER KNOW! but seriously? i'd be lying if i said that i only watched/listened to them when i was with the younger cousins. i rock that crap. it's the start of something new, yo.

sigh. i'm a little bit ashamed of this one...clay aiken....this kid is talented. that's all there is to it. i do rock out to his first cd. even though there is the creepy "invisible" song about stalking someone...but whatever. it's catchy and the rest of the cd is fantastic and makes me feel amazing.



remember when vh1 was awesome? Behind the Music. i freaking loved this show. i would watch all of them. even if i didn't like the artist they were featuring, by the end of the show, i loved them and needed to have everything they had ever been a part of. i miss this show.

also on vh1, was their top 100 lists. top 100 worst love songs. top 100 one hit wonders. top 100 ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. i loved this. i remember watching this religiously with my friend shaun. we never agree'd  with vh1 and we always got in very serious debates about their decisions. why. WHY VH1? why do we only have the stupid dating shows now. actually....question...does vh1 still exist? it's been a while since i watched because i was so disappointed in their line up....

dr. drew. you magnificent bastard. everything that you do is great. can i work for you? i have lots of experience! oh man. celebrity rehab. this show was amazing. REALLY THOUGH. i loved it.  the first 3 seasons were the best though. now it's all gimmicky and i'm not totally sure that it's really real, like with most "reality tv" it just looks...scripted. and it is a SHAME.

also....intervention. this show came into my life when i was living with my besties a couple years ago and it was the greatest show of all time. the moment that solidified it? there was this girl, who was drinking her wine out of a glass....jug is the only word i can use really to define it.  it was a gallon of wine. classy. she was using the wine to take down her pain killers. she was sitting out the couch watching tv. eating taco bell. and she fell asleep in her burrito. it was the most terrible/greatest thing i had seen in my life.

before everyone gets upset with me about being rude to people with addictions PLEASE KNOW! i do not want you to think that i am making fun of them. i know that it's real and that it is difficult and that i don't know their individual situation and what got them to that point, and all that jazz. i get it. i agree. but she passed out in her burrito. okay? can we all just agree that that is HILARIOUS?! thank you.

duane chapman. beth chapman. family of dog the bounty hunter. i...aaa...uu...can i please join your family? PLEASE!?!? i love this show. i love this family. i love that the show features my island. i love that it doesn't sugar coat my "paradise." i know what it's really like there. i'm just glad that someone is there trying to help the people of hawaii....and also filming it for my viewing pleasure. ;)

i love listening to sad music. "quiet" or "soft" call it what you want my dad calls it my suicide soundtrack. and i love it. if a song makes me cry, it will find itself on repeat for a week until my family can't take it anymore. that's what i call good music. ha. okay. but really. i don't know what it is, but when a song(music and/or lyrics) touches me so much that i cry, i instantly love it. i'm not 100% sane...it's fine....

also. i know, I KNOW i'm not the only one that does this....but sometimes...i go on to YouTube and i search for soldier homecoming videos...and i get lost in that super amazing and emotional vortex of the internet and i sob like a baby. the problem here...is that i never do this when i'm at home in the privacy of my room. no. i do this at my desk at work. where the world sees me and doesn't know what i'm doing, they just see me crying like a CRAZY PERSON. some people that i see fairly regularly don't ask me if i'm okay anymore. they have just started laughing and shaking their heads because...i don't know if you have noticed....but i cry a LOT...and i do it to myself....whatever...

when i am home alone....or everyone else has gone off to bed...and i'm in the kitchen doing the dishes...i pop in my ipod....and i perform to a packed house of 1 full concerts. they are great. they are musically perfect in every way, and very entertaining. sometimes there is dancing. sometimes there is crying. sometimes...sometimes i have to stop washing the dishes and pour my heart and soul into my performance. we don't do things half way over here. you want a show? i'll give you the best damn show of your life. ha!

africa. by toto. this song. *deep soulful sigh* this song you guys. i have loved it since the beginning of time. it is on almost every.single.one. of my playlists. and i never get sick of it. and then i see videos like this silly little ditty, and my love for it grows. GROWS.


in the air tonight. by phil collins. and we all know why. this. this is why.


well. now you guys have a little but MORE information about me that i'm sure you really wanted to know. i'm sure of it. haha. and now you know just how unstable i am. whatever! it's awesome!

k byeeeeee!!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Why do I do this to myself?

Remember in the movie "Little Women" with Christian Bale and Winona Ryder?  Remember when Jo chops off her hair and your super bratty younger sister, Kirsten Dunst, says, "Your one true beauty!" and all that garbage?  Well, that is sort of how I am with my hair.

I have had this complex about my hair from a very young age.  My dad was very particular about it.  My grandpa called my hair "angel hair"  Enter, Complex.  I was never allowed to cut it short, or...really do anything dramatic to it.  The summer between 7th and 8th grade, I rebelled.  I cut it.  Shoulder length.  It was SO dramatic at the time.  I cried myself to sleep for a long time.  My "one true beauty" was gone.  That was also the beginning of a LOT of my insecurities in life and I no longer had my hair to hide behind....

So ever since then, I've been trying and trying and TRYING to get my hair back to where it was.  Long.  Thick.  Luscious.  The envy of MY bratty nosed sister.  You know.  ANGELIC!  But I have tried, to no avail. My hair is thinning.  It is a fact.  I think it is safe to say, that since I graduated high school....ten years ago....BARF....my hair has thinned by probably half.  People think i'm being dramatic when I say that....they think i'm lying...i'm not...it's a true statement.  Yes.  My hair is still thicker than others...but if you remember my hair from before?  You'd know.  YOU'D KNOW PEOPLE!

Basically, the purpose of this post is to tell you that I have yet again...made a terrible mistake with my hair.  I'd like to blame this on my sister.  She did not do it properly....like she was supposed to....so now...ok.  I'll just break it down for you.

This post, is life altering, is it not?  It is.  I know it is.  You're welcome.

In December, I was out with my girlfriends for dinner, and I saw this girl with...probably the most BREATHTAKING hair I had seen in a long time.  The length.  The texture.  The style.  THE COLOR.  Oh my GHOSTBUSTERS!  The color.  You guys.  It was fantastic.  She caught me starring at her multiple times...it got awkward for all parties....but...things like this can't be helped sometimes...  So I was dazzled by her hair, and I couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks and weeks...which was actually more like days and days.  So there it was.  I was on the hunt for her hair color.

Everywhere.  I searched and searched.  And then it happened.  Target.  *angels singing*  TARGET!!  Target has everything in my life that I could ever hope for and desire.  I love that place.  I don't even need to say it all fancy like...like Oprah.  We pronounce the second T in these here parts.  TargeTTTT.  Get it right people.  Anyhoo.  We found it.  I bought 3 boxes.  2 for my current hair (possibly 3 if my hair is thickening like it is supposed to....).  But of course, my hair is not as thick as I should like, so we only used 2 boxes.  WHICH, turned out to be great.  Because now I have another box, an extra one would say, to remember what the exact color is, so next time I go and buy some, I don't have to GUESS.  Guessing is the worst.  THE WORST.



So we did it.  We dyed these here suckers on my head.  We dyed the crap out of them.  And guess what.  It was magnificent.  I looked a bit like a Stephanie Meyer...esk Vampire for a couple days with how dark it was and how gloriously white I was, but you guys.  It was amazing.  I had not had some many GENUINE compliments on my hair in a long time.  I felt like a million bucks.  And as the hair faded?  I looked not as white and guess what.  I looked more awesome.  Not to toot my own horn but....


toot toot.






And then it started to grow out and fade a LOT.  a LOT A LOT.  So much so, that when it came time for me to actually do my roots, the length of my hair had faded so much that I needed to redo the WHOLE THING.  Which I was totally fine with.  Because.  Remember.  I still had one more box of it's greatness.  So I went to Target to get another.  Because, one box won't cut it.  So out I went.  And guess what people.  GUESS WHAT?!  Target failed me.  Just typing that sentence pains me.  PAINS me.  Target doesn't let things like that happen.  But they did.  They failed me.  They did not have it. So I had to go looking somewhere else.  Walgreens.  Rite Aide.  Shopko.  Walmart (bleugh!).  NO ONE HAD IT!?  WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD!!!  The perfect color.  The ultimate color.  No one had it.

You know that scene of New Moon where it is the worlds most depressing/most ridiculously painful/beautiful  part where Bella is sitting in her room looking out the window and the months and months are passing and there are so many feelings?  SO MANY FEELINGS?  That.  That is how I felt.  I had been left behind by Edward.  Okay.  Sorry for that ridiculous analogy, but it's all that I could think of.  Whatever.  Get over it.



So!  I had to go and search.  Search for a color that was close to what my color was.  It was a SEARCH.  It was painful.  Because every time I went to look, I just kept getting disappointed in all of my stores for not having what I needed.  But I searched and searched and I finally found something that was relatively close.  And off I went.

I feel like the only way for me to fully express what happened next is to have you read the email that I wrote to my bestie.  So here it is.  (Including all of my nonsensical comments, because they are funny and I don't want to take the time to delete them....So DEAL!!)


okay.  so here it is.  i knew that i needed to dye my roots...because...well they were getting a bit out of hand.  it was really not the best situation.  malcolm was making constant remarks about it...and i really just needed to shut him the crap up.  (feeling like i can't swear..because i feel like your computer is unattended right now...and who know's what kinds of riff raff is running around your house....and also your visiting teachers are there....so...you know....jesus...) ANYWAY...so i decided that i was going to touch up my roots.  and guess what.  the color that i did my hair?  DISCONTINUED!  WHAT THE BANANAS?!  come on.  that shouldn't be allowed.  truly.  so i was on the hunt for a color similar.  and i found one.  it had a BIT more red in it....but was still dark enough that i would be okay.  

except....jasmine sucked at doing my hair.  SO.  it processed in my hair for too long.  then, i washed it out, let it dry...only to realize that my RETARD SISTER, didn't put the dye on my freaking roots.  so then, we had to go back, DIG THE DYE OUT OF THE GARBAGE, put it on my roots, and hope for the best.  second shower later....i decided that i was going to go to bed.  the dye was gone, so there was nothing more that could be done that night, and i was NOT going to wait around for my hair to DRY to see what the damage was. 

sigh.

monday morning, i wake up...and i look at my hair, and think...okay....it's a little bit redder than i would like...but it's not awful....it looks a bit damaged...but...you know...my hair hates me...so what's new there....at this point, all i have seen, are the ends of my hair.  i go and look in the mirror?  and good gravy.  It's awful.  my roots, (the roots that jasmine bothered to get the dye on....) were copperish red.  and there were parts that weren't dyed at all.  like....in the middle of my head...where i part my hair....just whole sections that look like complete crap.  my hair is 4 different shades of awful.  and no matter how many pictures i take of it, none of them truly show how bad it is.  even if I wanted to send you a pic....

jasmine is a cootie queen, lint licker.







SO.  There is THAT story.  Because my hair was so damaged by the constant bad dye jobs....i had to let it rest.  For there was a real situation on our hands people.  My hair was falling out in rebellion of being that gross.  It was literally committing suicide.  How very dramatic of it.  Don't you think?  So I had to let it stay like that.  For weeks!  WEEKS!!!!  Everyone totally fake "complimented" me like they feel like they have too....guys.  Just because something is different on someone, you don't have to LIE and compliment them, even though society says differently.  You don't.  Believe me.  I know what the situation is.  I've been to a mirror a time or two to check it out.

Granted.  There were some days where it was most definately worse than others.  Freshly washed?  TOO Copper.  Day 2?  Sort of Okay.  Day 3?  Just die already.  There was a very small window of not terrible-ness.  And I had to work with what I had.

I finally was able to dye it darker.  And it isn't amazing.  But it is most POSITIVELY better.



That's all.  Thanks for listening.

...did you know....?

You guys.  My cousin wrote a book.  HE WROTE A FREAKING BOOK!!  And guess what.  It's good.  I'm not just saying that because I may or may not have a biased opinion.  It is really for serious good!  It's so clever!  And he is writing the second installment of the book.  And guess what?  I GET TO HELP HIM EDIT IT!  What?!  WHo?!  Wh...?  My opinion?  He cares?!  You guys.  This is a lot of pressure.  I don't know if you guys are aware....but...grammatically?  Not an all star!  Thoughts?  ALL OVER THE PLACE.

While reading his book and the first chapter of the follow up, I kept thinking that I wish I could somehow be inspired to write SOMETHING.  To create SOMETHING of value to put out into the world.  I like to think that I have these thoughts and snide remarks to share, but when it comes down to it, I never know how to fully express what I want.  Whether it be funny, or heartfelt.  I have so much ADHD that there is no commonality in what I write.  I wish I was eloquent.  I wish that I could put my scatter brained personality out into the world in the right way to have people see me the way that my friends see me.

I have been watching a lot of YouTube lately.  A Lot.  It's a problem.  And there are certain vloggers that I wish I could be friends with and be like.  And some bloggers.  Because, they inspire me.  They bring joy into my life.  And I wish I could do that for someone else, but for now....Sorry guys.  Sorry I'm a dud.  Sigh.  And here are some people you should check out.  Because they will change your life.

Daily Grace
Stacey Helps and also
NatTheFatRat
Isaac Tago


On a completely unrelated note.  I am trying to figure out tumblr today.  Because my stupid work IT department blocked Pinterest and twitter.  And now I am lost and without a purpose.  So let's figure out this tumblr garbage.  Anyone have any wisdom they would like to bestow upon me?  Yes?  Please?  THANKS!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Award Season

So there was this one time, that I decided that I needed to watch all of the movies that were nominated for an Academy Award.  It is true.  And I'll tell you what...there are a LOT of movies that get nominated.  A LOT!!  And this can be quite the overwhelming feat if you are not prepared.  And let me tell you....I was not QUITE prepared.




Now.  Most years, I watch the awards and I always end up disgruntled because the ONE movie that I saw and loved, didn't win.  This year....I'm not sure WHAT I want to happen.  Because, of all the movies I have watched (I haven't quite made it through the list yet...it's a hefty list), I have loved most of them.  I say most...because....well....you can't love ALL of them....such is life. 

But here is where I'm at....what if?  What if the movies that I DISLIKE win.....what then?  WHAT THEN I ASK?!  Basically, I want my movies to win.  I want people to love Zero Dark Thirty like I did.  I want them to love Jessica Chastain like I do.  I want people to love Les Miserables like they should, because IT'S A FRIGGIN' CLASSIC DAMMIT!!  I know.  That is some classy language right there.  Your welcome.  I DON'T want Django Unchained to win just because it's a Tarantino movie.  Because, I feel like that is ALWAYS the case.  I want Silver Linings Playbook  to win because it is a beautiful story about healing and finding love where.....where you shouldn't! or at all because you didn't think you would!  And if you have NOT seen The Impossible than you aren't human.  Because you guys, that is one of the most touching movies I have seen in a VERY long time.  Tom Holland is fanTAStic.  He is going to be a great actor, and I can't wait to watch his career grow.  And the other boys?  COME ON!  SO CUTE!  Don't even get me started on Naomi Watts....just don't....

Okay.  Basically, I'm upset because everybody loves Quentin Tarantino.  I.....I do not.  There.  I said it.  They are all the same.  The story of Django was great.  And I truly did love it.  Jamie Foxx and Leonardo DiCaprio gave some stellar performances.  And Christoph Waltz?  COME ON!  AMAZING!  BUT, Quentin ruins life for me.  This is just my opinion.  If you don't agree, I apologize.  But....that happens in life.  Also, can we talk about Quentin's "cameo" in the movie?  Can someone please explain to me why he was Australian?  Is that the only accent he can do?  So they had to make him Australian?  Also, why does he feel the need to "act" in all of his movies?  He is a TERRIBLE actor.

Okay.  This post was not to be a Quentin Tarantino bash.  I'm over it....AAAAK!!  Okay.  NOW I'm over it. 

Basically, I'm really excited for the show, because I have big opinions about everything.  I hope my peeps win some good stuff. 

Can we also discuss how amazing everybody looks on this night?  I mean really!  The most exquisite gowns, suits, jewelry, SHOES...you name it, and it is amazing.  And sometimes?  Sometimes people are so freaking epic already, that they are like..."Yo!  I'm Iron M!  I don't need to dress up, and I still win!"  Yeah.  RDJ is ghetto like that.  Plus, he's freaking Robert Downey Jr. He can do whatever the hell he wants.



This is what it's all about people....

Also, I should be a movie critic.  Just so you know.  I think it is my calling in life to be a critic/judge of everything.  Music, TV, Movies, Food, Reality TV, Talent Shows....you name it...I'd be great at it.  I've talked with my father at length about this....he and I need to have our own show where we just judge people....It would be fantastic.  You would watch it.

Okay.  This post has turned to crap.  Sorry.  I hope we can still be friends if you like QT....I do hope to someday get his appeal....I really truly do.  But until then....I have Steven Spielberg, Ben Affleck, and a whole bunch of other people who are making movies for me. 

Peace Out!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!

hey! you! GUUUUYs! 


Can we all just agree already, that this is the greatest movie that has ever been made?  Thank you.

The other night, I was pondering my childhood.  Sometimes, it happens.  And sometimes?  IT'S AWESOME.  So while I was in the midst of my ponderings, I thought about The Goonies.  And guess what...once you think about The Goonies, you can't stop thinking about them until you watch the movie.  And then after you watch the movie, it changes your life all over again, and you suddenly find yourself wanting to go on treasure hunts and fight pirates and set booby traps (yeah!  booby traps!), etc.  You know how it goes.  It happens to the best of us.

So when I was younger, I REALLY wanted to be one of the boys.  I guess that is what happens when you have older brothers and super cool uncles (my aunts were cool too...but they didn't live with us....so...sorry!) and a LOT of boy cousins.  I just wanted to be cool like them.  They were/are tough and strong and always doing something crazy and fun!  But, there I was.  Such a prissy girl....wanting to be one of the boys....but don't hurt me or get me dirty, and you better be damn sure, that i'm going to make you watch The Sound of Music with me later....anyway...I'm getting off point here.  My point is, I wanted to be tough and cool like the boys, so I followed them everywhere.  And, my parents (I'm fairly certain) always wanted a break from ME, so they made my brothers take me. 

After we had seen The Goonies, everything became about treasure.  EV-ER-RI-THING.  There was this hike that was in our neighborhood and that became our quest.  Kings Chair.  We drew maps, we had backstories on the "bad guys" the "good guys" and the "chunks" of life, we even made up our own quest songs!  They were sort of awful...and by sort of...I obviously me abismal.  They were absolutely horrific.  I don't remember them, but I just remember how bad they were.  And I sang them PROUDLY and LOUDLY and my brothers would get so angry and would start to stop holding the tree branches for me when they would walk by them, and the would fly back and smack me.  I don't blame them.  I probably would've done the same. 

What I'm saying, is, this trail.  This trail was difficult!  Full of Lava Rock "stairs" and very loose dirt that would make you start to slide backwards when you didn't walk fast enough, lots of bushes and trees that you have to fight with to stay on the trail, etc.  You know...all the things that make for a very fun and very dangerous afternoon.  And we would get to the top of the ridge, and look out over our very lovely Kailua and yell, "GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!!!!"  Because...you guys....Goonies never say die.  They don't.  Once a Goonie, always a Goonie.

And also....you guys....wanna have your mind blown?



This Stud Muffin?




 
Turns into THIS Stud Muffin!


Also, I apologize for your not being able to read this very well....I can't figure out how to change it.  Sometimes....life is hard for Chanel....

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Snow. I hope you die a miserable death.

Now....I'm not the type of person who over dramatizes situations.....cough cough....wait....yes I am.

I think it's one of my more redeeming qualities.  Wouldn't you think?  Making every little nuance into a big dramatic tale of struggle and heroines.  I mean really.  It's pretty great.

So what is the dramatics today, you may ask?  Snow.  That is the cause of all the dramatics.

It's not even Halloween yet!  For Heavens sake!!  Why the goodness is there snow on the ground?!  WHY OH WHY!?  You guys. 

Here's the thing about snow.  It's only pretty for about 2.5 seconds....then it gets gross and soggy and REALLY REALLY WET!  I like winter.  I do.  I like the holiday's, and the crisp cool air, the warm cozy clothes.  I love that all!  Really.  What I don't love?  Snow. 

And it's not that i don't love it.  Because, I'll throw the world a bone.  I know that it is important.  I know that it's needed.  I know it can be pretty.  I know that it can be fun.  But I hate driving in it.  I can't do it.  I hate walking in it because it gives you soggy socks.  And that is awful.  And then it makes your boots soggy (obviously before the socks...) and then it makes boots and socks and feet smell so SO SO BAD!!


Anyway.  Here are some pics.  Snow.  SNOW!  I can't get over it.




I walked around the temple last night, and this is the pic that I was able to take.  GO ME!



 And because today was obviously a falsies day to get me over my snow funk, here are my falsies....

Friday, October 19, 2012

Face

You know?  There are days, when I wake up in the morning, and everything just....works.  My clothes come together like I know what I'm doing.....my hair is awesome....my face is awesome.....but that is like a rare unicorn.  VERY RARE.  And I feel like these generally happen when I am running on very low fuel due to lack of sleep, and it's typically on a Monday when there is no one to impress and nobody expects excellence.

Then....Those days where my clothes work, and my hair works, but my face is on strike.  It's evened out by the fact that two of the three are working.  Sometimes it's the face that works but the hair is on strike. 

Then there are the terrible, no good, very bad days.  Where my clothes look like I took them from a homeless person....my hair looks super greasy (even though it's clean!  mystery!) and my face looks like death.  It's the triangle of death.  Like the Bermuda triangle.  And this typically happens on a Thursday or a Friday when there are people who I see that I would prefer NOT to look like ass when they see me. 

But alas.

This is my fate.